


C'est La Vie

by toomanysharks



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: All translations came from google translate and I am skeptical of their accuracy, Everyone is a good bro, Fluff, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Office AU, actual bird clint barton aka clint birdton, bucky has tattoos, everyone is a marvel character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-04-30 13:07:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5164928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toomanysharks/pseuds/toomanysharks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The mistaken identity office AU that nobody asked for</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Monday

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story so concrit would be nice!

The elevator doors slid open with a cheerful _ding_ and Natasha looked out at Steve from inside. She was standing next to a guy that Steve had never seen before. A really hot guy.

          "Natasha", Steve greeted as he stepped in to the elevator. The doors slid closed behind him. _ding_.

           "Steven", she replied. Steve looked to the hot guy, waiting for an introduction or some kind of explanation; but the guy didn't say anything, he just stared back at him. "His name is James", Natasha sighed.

             James. That name sounded familiar from some company-wide email.

             "Jim Morita? From France? The guy who doesn't speak English?", Steve asked. James scrunched his face up and opened his mouth, but Natasha cut him off.

             "The very one", she said, a slow smile creeping on to her face. She looked at James and said, "Cela va être amusant", which elicited a laugh from the man. Steve wished he had taken French in school.

           "It is, how you say, nice to meet you?", James said with a thick accent , sticking out his hand for a handshake, which Steve was more than happy to provide. How did this guy have such nice hands? Why was that a thing?

              "Yeah, you too", Steve said as he continued to shake the man's hand.

              "Sorry his English isn't so great, he probably won't understand anything else you say", Natasha said without looking up from her phone.

James gave a pointed look to where Steve was still shaking his hand like a fucking creeper. He immediately released his grip and shuffled back to lean against the rail of the elevator.

             "So this guy works with you in IT now?", Steve asked Natasha.

              She still didn't bother to look up from her phone, just popped her gum and said, "Yup".

           "Damn. Must be nice. All I've got to look at is Stark", Steve groaned. Sure, objectively, Tony Stark was a good looking-guy but he didn't have eyes like James. Or arms like James. Or hair like James.

              "Clint works with you too", Natasha reminded him.

              "Clint is Tony's bird, Natasha", Steve pointed out.

              "But he's a sassy bird. He knows lots of bad words. And he's pretty. For a bird", Natasha said.

              "I'm not even going to warn Tony that you're planning to bird-nap Clint", Steve replied, shaking his head. "I'll be glad when he's gone from our office. He's always chirping and saying 'Aww coffee, no'. It's getting old".

              "I can swing by and teach him some new phrases", Nat promised. "Or I can send James here on a run-of-the-mill printer fix up. He could conveniently stop and teach Clint some French".

James was glaring at Natasha, but he didn't say anything. He was probably upset she was talking about him and he couldn't tell what she was saying.

              "I mean, if I get to ogle him while he fixes our printer, I'm okay with it", Steve said, looking at the time on his phone. He heard what could be described as someone choking, but when he looked up, James and Nat were both stone-faced.

ding.

The elevator doors opened up on the ground floor and they all walked out into the lobby.

              "Tell him I said it was nice to meet him, and I hope he enjoys his new job here", Steve said to Nat, while waving a hand in James' direction.

Natasha turned to James and said "S'il vous plaît juste le faire pour moi une couple de jours. Il est trop grande pour la laisser passer".

James rolled his eyes at Natasha before turning to Steve and smiling, nodding his head, and waving before turning away to leave.

 

             "Au revoir!", Steve called out to the man's back. James turned around, giving Steve another small wave before climbing on to his motorcycle and driving out of the lot. "You need to teach me French", Steve sighed as he watched James drive away. Leather jackets were always a weakness of his.

             Natasha snorted before she said, "I don't need to teach you anything", and got in to her Camaro. Steve watched as she pulled out of the lot before finally getting into his Prius.

Things were about to be a lot more interesting around the office.


	2. Tuesday

The phone rang three times before someone picked up with a clipped, "Barnes".

              "Yeah, hi, I'm having some issues bringing up Premier Navigator", Steve said as he clicked uselessly again on the icon for the program.

           "C-Station", Barnes demanded.

           "Um. Where would I even....", Steve asked as he looked around his work station. What the hell is a C-station?

              "Rogers, I need your C-station if you want me to fix this", Barnes said on a sigh.

              "Wait, how'd you know it was me?", Steve asked, as he picked up his keyboard to see if the C-station number was printed on the bottom of it. _Nope, what a stupid guess. Why would it be there?_

              "Caller ID, Rogers. One of the many new-fangled inventions of the future", Barnes drawled. "Your C-station number should be on a label in the upper left hand corner of your monitor".

              "Aha! C-1918. Sorry, I don't call IT very often", Steve explained as his screen flickered once and his mouse started moving around the screen.

              "Mmmm", Barnes hummed, obviously distracted by the task at hand. "I'm going to disconnect your server and restart your computer", he explained.

           "That's exactly what I was going to suggest", Steve replied flippantly, waving a hand through the air. It got a snort out of Barnes, and Steve was surprised to find he wanted to hear what a real laugh sounded like coming from him.

           "Sure it was, Cap", Barnes said as Steve's computer began to restart.

           "Assigning me such high rank when I don't even know what my C-station number is. I'm flattered", Steve joked.

           "It was a Cap'n Crunch reference, you shouldn't be flattered at all", Barnes replied.

           "Aww c'mon, Cap'n Crunch?", Steve groaned. "There are plenty of other Captains out there, I can't believe you would stoop so low as to make a reference to a fictitious cereal box character".

           Barnes gave another snort as Steve's computer finished rebooting and he opened Navigator for Steve. "It seemed fitting. I get the feeling you're on Cap'n Crunch's level".

           "You don't know me", Steve sniffed.

              "Well, it looks like your program is working. Anything else I can help you with, Rogers?", Barnes asked as Steve's screen flickered again and his mouse went still.

              "No, thanks a lot", Steve said.

              "Welcome", Barnes replied as he hung up the phone.

              "I'm definitely a more legitimate captain than Cap'n Crunch", Steve said to his empty office.

Clint squawked before saying "Aye aye, Cap'n Crunch". Steve shot a rubber band at the bird, which it expertly dodged.

              "Nobody asked you, Clint" he mumbled as he went back to work.

 

* * *

 

The elevator doors slid open with  cheery _ding_ , and Steve was glad to see Natasha was standing there with James. He was wearing a plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

           "Natasha", Steve said as he stepped in.

              "Steven", she greeted with a sly grin as the doors slid closed. _ding_.

              "I called IT today and you didn't answer", Steve huffed.

              "Well, what can I say, Steve. I'm a busy girl. Don't have time to sit around and help you figure out that your C-station number is not, in fact, printed on the underside of your keyboard", she replied.

              "Were you watching me on the cameras or something?", Steve asked, feeling his face heat up from embarrassment. "And what, you guys don't have anything better to talk about up there?"

              "I was checking in on Clint. Tony's on vacation and I wanted to make sure my buddy was doing okay. And yeah, we gossip. Barnes was particularly amused by your call", she said. James shot her a look, but he didn't say anything. Poor guy, must be tough not understanding what people are talking about.

              "Sorry I don't call IT for actual technical problems very often; I mean, usually Tony is there to fix everything. I can't help it he decided he needed a romantic getaway with Pepper", Steve complained.  "What's the deal with Barnes anyway? He was kind of rude. But also not rude?", he faltered as he tried to describe the IT guy that had left a smile on his face.

              Natasha grinned at him. "Barnes? I think you'd probably like him, actually. He has a Star Wars cup that he drinks out of almost every day. Chai tea", she said.

              "I am always a sucker for chai tea", Steve conceded. "But I'm also a sucker for plaid shirts. Rolled up to the elbows", he said, glancing in James' direction. Natasha followed his gaze and grinned even wider. "I can't believe you get to work next to him all the time, Nat. I mean look at him. He looks like he walked out of that hipster bar, the one on Mifflin", he said, snapping his fingers, trying to come up with the name.

              "The Howling Commando?", she provided. James was very studiously staring at his phone.

           "Yes! He looks like he just walked out of The Howling Commando, with the skinny jeans, and the white converse, and the plaid. Even his haircut screams hipster", Steve whined.

              "Why are you whining about this?", Natasha asked. "I thought you were, and I quote, 'always a slut for hipsters'".

              "We both know that is a common phrase these days", Steve said, pointing a finger at her. "But the sentiment stands, I am always attracted to hipsters", he said as the elevator doors gave a bright ding and slid open. James hurried out ahead of both of them, headed for the parking lot at full speed. “Au revoir!", Steve yelled to the man's retreating back. James turned around and gave a quick wave before climbing on to his bike and peeling out of the parking lot. "Why was he in such a hurry?", Steve asked Natasha, who was smiling even wider than before. How is that even possible?

              "Probably has a hot date at the Commando", she said as she climbed in to her Camaro.

              "It's bad enough I don't get to stare at him all the time, Nat, you don't have to remind me that he's most likely out getting laid by everyone but me".

              "Maybe someday, Cap", Nat teased as she pulled out of her spot and drove away.

              "I need new friends", Steve grumbled.


	3. Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> "Don't let him say stuff like that in front of me" and  
> "Why not, afraid you'll take him up on the offer?"

    "You have to be fucking kidding me", Steve cursed as he tried his password for the 5th time. He put his head in his hands as an error message reading, THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN LOCKED, CONTACT SUPPORT popped up on his screen. "Just what I needed", he sighed, dialing IT.

              "Well, Cap, what is it this time?", Barnes asked in lieu of a proper greeting.

              Steve opted to ignore the Cap jab as well as the swooping feeling in his stomach at hearing Barnes' voice. "Yeah, my email account has been locked. It won't take my password, I don't know what's going on".

              "C-station?", Barnes asked. "It's located in the---"

              "Ha, ha. Same one as before. C-1918", Steve replied. His screen flickered and his mouse started moving of its own accord.

              "Alright, let me check a few things", Barnes said as he clicked through some files that didn't mean anything to Steve.

              "Captain Planet", Steve blurted out after a moment of silence. His mouse froze for a second before it continued moving around.

              "What?", Barnes asked, opening and closing more windows.

           "I drive a Prius. I recycle. I even tried to organize a 'ride your bike to work' day here once. Definitely more on par with Captain Planet than Cap'n Crunch", he explained.

              "You were the one behind that attempted terrorist attack? I can't believe you would try to inflict so much pain on us", Barnes remarked. Steve heard him take a sip of something and his mind supplied Chai tea.

              "Banner from R&D was the only one who took any interest. He's a really nice guy, actually. Very zen", Steve commented as Bucky opened a word document and started typing.

C A P T A I N showed up on his screen.

              "Rogers", Barnes sighed. He kept typing and C A P T A I N  O B V I O U S was spelled out in the word document. "Your caps lock is on. I unlocked your email account. Turn off your caps lock and try your password now".

Steve turned a bright red before  doing as he was told. His email opened immediately.

              "Well, this is embarrassing", Steve said as his screen flickered and his mouse quit moving again.

              "Peggy does it all the time", Barnes said reassuringly. Steve could hear the smirk in his voice.

              "Peggy is 85 years old", Steve pointed out. He already had an email from Natasha.

 

**From Natasha Romanoff <n.romanoff@shield.it.net>, 3:42 P.m.**

You should be embarrassed.

-Nat

There was a picture of a dinosaur using a computer attached. Steve deleted it without even replying.

          

    "And yet, even she knows where the C-station label is. Anything else you need from me today?", Barnes asked.

              "No, I think I've had enough mortification for one day. Thanks, Barnes", Steve replied, already annoyed at the number of emails in his inbox.

              "Sure thing, Cap", Barnes said before hanging up.

Steve hung up the phone and picked up the box of crackers off of Tony's desk. "I know Tony hates it when I feed you crackers", Steve said, handing Clint a saltine. "But I also know these are your favorite".

Clint gave a delighted squawk, nuzzling into Steve's hand and giving him an affectionate nip on the finger. "Aye aye, Cap'n", the bird chirped.

              "Shut up, Clint", Steve groaned, sitting down at his desk to reply to his emails.

 

* * *

 

Steve wearily glanced in to elevator as it cheerily _ding_ -ed at him. As expected, Nat and James were already in there. James was standing in the corner, nose buried in a book.

           "Steven", Natasha greeted, pocketing her phone as she did.

              "Tasha", he said, nodding at her. "James", he added, waving at the man lurking in the corner. James nodded his head slightly and lifted the book up as a greeting.

              "He reads", Steve groaned, letting his head fall against the elevator wall.

              "I hope so", Natasha quipped.

              "You know what I mean. He reads books. For fun. And he's got a NASA t-shirt on. Not to mention the tattoos. I'm usually not a fan of tattoo sleeves, but his is fucking Harry Potter themed. I want to trace it. With my tongue", Steve said. He stared openly at James' tattoo, which weaved together a scene from the story of the Three Brothers and footsteps from the marauders map. I solemnly swear I am up to no good was printed along the inside of his bicep, and there were edges of the tattoo peeking out from the collar of his t-shirt. Steve wondered what the rest of the tattoo looked like under the soft cotton.

James' face turned a bright red before he said, "Ne laissez pas lui dire des choses comme ça en face de moi”

           Natasha cocked an eyebrow before responding, "Pourquoi? Vous aurez peur de prendre lui sur l'offre?"

              James and Natasha were glaring at each other and Steve was not 100% sure of what to do. "So, caps lock", Steve interjected. He usually wouldn't bring up something he knew Natasha would mercilessly mock him for, but he felt like he needed to cut the tension between the two of them.

              "Caps lock", she repeated, finally looking away from James. "How embarrassed were you? Barnes told everyone about it. Darcy took a poll in the IT office about how old everyone thought you were. The average guess was 74".

              "Ugh. Pretty embarrassed. Glad you weren't checking in on me at the time because I'm pretty sure I was bright red", Steve admitted.

              "I'll just check the tape tomorrow", Natasha said as the elevator doors _ding_ -ed on the 4th floor. "Sam Wilson", she said as the man in question boarded the elevator. Steve thanked any god who was listening for the distraction from his caps-lock debacle.

              "Romanoff!", Sam replied with a smile. "Thanks for your help with that coding issue. I think we got the basic layout to flow for the Pym account website".

              "Anything for my favorite Marketing intern", Natasha said with a smile. Steve had never seen her smile like that at someone before.

              "He won't be an intern much longer, from the sounds of it. I think Thor is going to promote him at the end of the week", Steve interjected.  

              "Come on man, the suspense was killing me", Sam fake-whined.

              "Please", Steve said, waving his hand. "I'm sure Natasha would hack the system and get you hired back anyway".

Sam looked at Natasha with a big smile and a waggle of his eyebrows. "You would hack the system for me, huh?"

              "Don't push your luck, Wilson", she said, her lips turning up at the corners.

              "I don't think we've been properly introduced", Steve said, sticking his hand out to Sam. "Steve Rogers. I work on the 8th floor".

              "Sam Wilson. Marketing. And come on man, I know who you are. You designed those bomb-ass Nike ads with the boxer wrapping his hands, you were the mastermind behind the Vaccinate Your Kids campaign, and you painted the art in the break room on the 4th floor for that Improve Your Workplace event we had. You're kind of legendary as far as employees go around here. I'd love to be a part of one of your projects", Sam gushed.

              "Nice to meet you, Sam. If Nat approves, you must be a good guy. You should stop by my office this week if you get a chance, and we can talk about projects", Steve suggested.

The elevator gave another happy _ding_ as it stopped on the ground level, doors opening as Sam stood there, staring at Steve.

              "Oh, I'll get a chance", Sam promised with an enthusiastic nod.

              "Great, another man stolen out from under me by Steve Rogers", Natasha drawled.

              "He's not my type", Steve and Sam said at the same time, giving each other matching dopey grins when they realized what they did.

Natasha rolled her eyes, muttered, "At least I still have James", and walked out of the elevator. James followed her out, closing his book as he went.

              "Au revoir!", Steve called after both of them. Natasha flipped him off over her shoulder, but James turned around and gave him a soft smile and a wave. They both piled in to her Camaro and pulled out.

              "Nothing sexier than a woman in a Camaro", Sam said as they watched Nat's taillights disappear into the sunset.

              "I can think of one thing", Steve said, shaking his head.

              "I'm flattered man, but you're really not my type", Sam replied with a smile.

              Steve laughed before saying, "I see why Nat likes you. See you later, Sam".

              "Later, Rogers", he said, getting into his truck.

Steve sat in his Prius and listened to the radio, thinking of plaid flannels and marauders map tattoos for longer than he should have before finally pulling away from the curb.


	4. Thursday

    "Rogers. Three days in a row. Did you check your caps lock?", Barnes asked.

              "Very funny", Steve drawled as his computer screen flickered and his mouse started drawing lazy circles on the screen.

              Barnes sounded pretty bored when he asked, "So what is it time, then?"

              "The printer. It's blinking yellow? I know red means it needs more paper, but I don't know what yellow signifies", Steve said, glaring at the printer in question.

              "Let me check a few things for you", Barnes said as he started opening windows and double clicking things Steve hadn't even known existed.

              "Okay, what about Captain Kirk?", Steve asked as Barnes dragged a file into the trash.

              "James Tiberius Kirk does not deserve the slander of being associated with a man who has the technological capabilities of a 75 year old. Kirk was a space commander, Rogers", Bucky said, obviously offended at the implication that Steve was in any way similar to the infamous Star Trek captain.

              "Fine. Captain Jack Sparrow, then. We're both men of our word who would do anything for our friends", Steve tried.

              "More like Captain Barbossa, cursed to live a life of eternal damnation and mockery", Barnes replied as the printer whirred to life at Steve's side. His fliers were filling the tray.

              "At least it wasn't my caps lock this time", Steve pointed out.

              Barnes laughed as Steve's screen flickered again, signaling his exit from the monitor. "No, not caps lock. But you were on the wrong network. Happens to Peggy pretty regularly".

              "Peggy and I are soulmates", Steve whined, dragging his hand down his face.

              "You could do a lot worse, Cap", Barnes said, and Steve could hear him take a drink over the line. Chai tea.

              "Chai tea sounds amazing", Steve groaned. Or moaned. That was definitely closer to a moan than a groan.

Barnes sounded like he choked a little bit on his drink.  His voice sounded weirdly strained when he asked, "Anything else, Rogers?"

              "No. You're a god-send, Barnes. Thanks", Steve replied as he collected his fliers from the printer.

              "Don't you forget it", Barnes replied as he hung up the phone.

Steve was studiously working on replying to his emails a few hours later when there was a knock on his door. He looked up to see Natasha standing there, holding a styrofoam cup.

              "Delivery for a Cap'n Crunch?", she asked as she strolled in. She set a steaming cup of chai tea down on his desk before heading over to Clint's perch

              "I hate you", Steve said as he took a sip of the tea. It was delicious. "But also I love you", he admitted.

              "Barnes is the one you should be professing your love to", Natasha said as Clint climbed on to her arm. "He won't even share his tea with Darcy, you should be honored". Clint gave a happy squawk as Nat scratched his chest with her finger.

              "Tell him to come here so I can propose to him. He fixes all my problems and  he makes amazing tea. Plus his voice is pretty sexy. Have you heard his voice, Nat?", Steve asked. Natasha snorted at him.

              "You've got it bad. I'm telling James you've moved on. He's going to be heartbroken", Natasha cooed as Clint rubbed the top of his head on the bottom of her chin.

              "Ugh. James. If only there was a guy that looked like James but had the personality of Barnes. Swoon worthy", Steve gushed.

              "If only", Natasha drawled. She set Clint back down on his perch and headed for the door. "You should ask Barnes out. I think you'd be pleasantly surprised", she said over her shoulder.

Steve rolled his eyes, Natasha was always trying to set him up. Last month he had gone on a date with Brad  from accounting, and it had not ended well. He didn't even know who Han Solo was. The month before that, it had been Doug from HR. After two drinks, he started talking about how men's rights were being violated every day. Steve had walked away without even saying goodbye to him. The month before that, it had been Dave from the cafeteria. He had thought bisexuality was a sin, and Steve didn't have time for repressed homosexuality in his life, so they didn't make it past the first 10 minutes of their date.

Needless to say, he was going to ignore her dating advice for a little while.

              "Appreciate it, Nat", he said, already replying to an email from Thor about the Company Cookbook they were trying to put together.

A few minutes later, Steve was spacing out, thinking about Barnes and James and the crushing feeling of singleness wrapping around his chest when Clint hopped on to Steve's keyboard. He cocked his head to the side before flapping his wings and letting out an indignant squawk. "CAP'N CRUNCH".

Steve huffed, pulled a cracker out of the box and threw it over to Clint's perch. Clint nipped his finger before flying over and nibbling on the cracker.

              "Just let me wallow in my loneliness, Clint", Steve scoffed.

              "Caaaaaap'n Cruuuuuucnh", Clint said, cooing and ruffling his feathers.

              "Thanks buddy".

* * *

 

_ding_. Natasha and James were standing in the elevator when the doors opened, as per usual.

              "Fancy meeting you two here", Steve said as he stepped in and the doors closed behind him.

              "What a coincidence", Natasha agreed. James was wearing a soft grey zip up, the hood thrown up over his head. He gave Steve a short wave and went back to staring at his boots.

              "He okay?", Steve asked, jerking his head in James' direction

              "Boy troubles", Natasha sighed, waving a hand through the air. "Pretty stupid. They both just need to get their shit together", she said, glaring a hole in the side of James' head.

              "Well whatever the guy did, he's an idiot. I mean, look at him", Steve said.

              "Are we going to do this again today?", Natasha asked, rolling her eyes.

              "Yeah, we're going to do this every damn day I see him in this elevator. Because he's gorgeous. I mean those cheekbones are phenomenal. And he's got the best eyes I've ever seen; like, eyes I could get lost in. And he's got the best smile, even though he looks mopey more often than not. I'd love to sketch that smile, Nat", he rambled. She groaned, hitting her head against the elevator wall. "And his hair. Always so perfectly tousled. I just want to run my hands through it, really rough it up, you know? I bet he has the best sex hair. I bet his face gets flushed, cheeks all rosy---"

              "Stop. I do not need a detailed sexual fantasy from you. You're my best friend, but I have to draw the line somewhere", Natasha urged.

              "Can't tell me you haven't thought about it", Steve said. "Or maybe you've been too busy thinking about Sam Wilson?", he teased

              "We are not doing this", Natasha warned. _ding_. The doors slid open. James pushed off from the elevator wall and quickly exited the building.

              "Poor guy", Steve said as James pulled away on his motorcycle.

              "No pity. So, how's Barnes?", she asked suggestively.

          "You know how he is", Steve said, narrowing his eyes at her. "You work with him".

    "Right. So are you going to ask him out or what?", she asked. Apparently she wasn't going to beat around the bush at all.

           "No", Steve replied matter-of-factly. "I'm not eager to have boy troubles of my own".

              "Please. You guys have been flirting for days now. He made you tea. I think you can probably swing a date with the guy and it'll be okay", Natasha reasoned. "I'm just trying to help", she added innocently.

              "Remember the last time you helped? When you set me up with Colin? And he cheated on me for months and dumped me because I asked him to read one fucking book?", Steve snapped. Natasha's smile fell away, a steely expression taking its place. "Shit. Sorry. You know I don't blame you for that, I just. I don't need the stress right now, Nat", he said.

              "Whatever. See you tomorrow", Natasha responded, getting into her Camaro and driving away.

              "Dammit", Steve cursed, slamming his door as he got into his car. "Gonna have to make that up to her".


	5. Friday

**To Natasha Romanoff <n.romanoff@shield.it.net>, 9:14 a.m.**

I have scones in my office. There's a cinnamon burst with your name on it.

_Received at 9:16 a.m._

**To Natasha Romanoff <n.romanoff@shield.it.net>, 10:03 a.m.**

I'm gonna have to microwave this now, it's not warm anymore. Please

_Received at 10:005 a.m._

**To Natasha Romanoff <n.romanoff@shield.it.net>, 10:21 a.m.**

You asked for it

_Received at 10:22 a.m._

Steve pushed away from his desk, grabbing the box of scones in one hand and holding on to Clint's harness with the other. He took the elevator up to the 10th floor and walked into the IT office to find Darcy was the only one sitting in the open section. Everyone else was locked away in their offices.

           "Business Process Manager crashed this morning. Everyone's been really busy", she said, snapping her gum. She looked up and Steve could practically see her eyes zoom in on the box of scones. "Treats! How nice!", she pushed her chair away from her desk and helped herself to one of the pastries in the box. "Thanks, Cap", she said with a wink. "Natasha has been on the phone with the BPM servers all morning, I think she'll really appreciate a visit from Clint". She sat back down and waved Steve in the direction of Natasha's door. He figured that was as good of an invitation as any, and opened the door to Nat's office. She was on the phone with someone, but she nodded at Steve and motioned for him to shut the door.

           "Listen to me, Pierce. You will fix this. And you will fix it now. Our whole company is struggling to get anything done because you assholes can't handle a server issue", she hissed.

              "Miss Romanoff, we're---", Pierce started to say.

              "Fix it", she growled before hanging up on him. She fell in to her chair and huffed out a breath. "I fucking hate that guy", she sighed.

              "Seems like a douche", Steve agreed, passing the box of scones over to Natasha.

              "Oh thank god", she said, taking out a cinnamon pastry and licking her lips.

              "So, these are definitely apology scones", Steve said, letting go of the leash on Clint's harness so he could hop around on Natasha's desk. "I was rude yesterday, and I'm sorry. I appreciate that you're trying to set me up, and I know it's just because you want me to be happy".

              "I'm sorry too. I've been pushing pretty hard I guess. But it's just because I really think you guys would work. Like freakishly well", she said, breaking off a piece of her baked good and feeding it to Clint.

           "Nataaaashaaaa", the bird cooed, doing a shuffle and climbing up on to her arm. She smiled at him before turning back to Steve.

              "Thanks for this", she said. "I needed it".

              "That's what best friends are for", Steve said with a shrug. He pulled out another cinnamon scone for Natasha, and after a second, he got out 3 more flavors: blueberry, raspberry, and almond. "Give one of those to Barnes for me, would you?", he asked.

              Natasha gave him a warm smile before saying, "Sure thing, Steve". Her phone started ringing and she rolled her eyes, handing Clint over. "You guys should get out of here. I'm about to rip this guy a new asshole".

              Steve laughed, shaking his head as he left. "Give 'em hell, Romanoff", he called over his shoulder as he closed her office door.

 

* * *

 

           "Crunchetize me, Cap'n", Barnes deadpanned after 2 rings.

              "What about Captain Malcolm Reynolds?", Steve asked.

              "I doubt your pants are tight enough to fit the bill", Barnes replied. Steve's screen flickered and his mouse opened a game of Minesweeper. "And I'm still bitter that Firefly got cancelled so I won't tolerate any references to Serenity crew members". Steve heard Barnes let out a quiet curse when he clicked on a mine. "What's wrong today, Rogers?", he asked, starting a new game.

           "The copier in my office is jammed", Steve replied.

              "This is exactly the kind of thing Peggy usually calls about", Barnes said. His mouse was hovering between two squares.

              "It's not the usual jam. I tried all the tricks. I need someone who can take this thing apart and probably reboot the whole thing. Pick the one on the right", Steve said. Barnes clicked the box on the right and a mine appeared, ending the game. Barnes scoffed and started a new game.

              "Captain Hook. You must be missing a few limbs if you're this careless with mines", Barnes teased. Steve found himself smiling at his phone.

              "You got me. That's why the copier is jammed; my hook is stuck inside. How will I ever defeat Peter Pan if I'm stuck in this copy machine, Barnes?" Steve joked. Barnes gave an actual laugh at that and Steve could feel his whole face light up. He hoped Nat wasn't watching him on the cameras again.

           "I'll send Nat your way. I think she's looking for something to beat up and the copy machine is always a favorite of hers", Barnes said, clicking on another mine. "I never really understood this game to be honest", he admitted.

           "Me either", Steve said as Barnes started a game of solitaire instead. "I thought you would be busy with the BPM crash", he blurted.

           "We were really busy until Nat verbally abused Pierce. They fixed the problem pretty quickly and now we're back to waiting for calls about jammed copiers" Barnes replied.

           "Fixing copiers. Playing solitaire. Harassing poor, unsuspecting co-workers. Must be nice working in the IT department", Steve said, doodling little circles in the margins of his notebook. Middle school girl his brain supplied.

           "Yeah, and occasionally, you'll have a really nice guy bring you baked goods", Barnes replied. Steve could hear a distinct smile in his voice. Is he....flirting?

           "Least I could do after you gave me an amazing cup of Chai tea. My mouth is watering just thinking about it, actually", Steve said. He was definitely flirting. Is this against company policy?? Oh well.

           "Well there may be more cups of tea in your future", Barnes said. "Hey, I was wondering----" Steve heard a crash in the background, followed by someone yelling, "BARNES".

"Shit, I have to go. Sorry. I'll send someone down for your copier". The line went dead before Steve could reply.

           "You have to be kidding me!", Steve yelled to his empty office. "Was he just going to ask me out?!", Steve asked Clint. Clint pulled his head out from under his wing, and cocked it to the side before giving a full-body ruffle and chirping.

           "Cap. Cap'n Crunch", he squawked, moving his whole body up and down in a nodding gesture.

           "I've got to teach you some new phrases", Steve said, standing up and getting the box of crackers out of his desk.

 

* * *

 

           "You don't have to be rich, to be my girl. You don't have to be cool, to rule my world. Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with. I just want your extra time and your kiss", Steve sang, pointing a cracker at Clint as he danced around his office. Clint kept watching Steve, bobbing along to the beat of the song. He squawked and said, "Kiss" on beat, which Steve was going to count as a victory, so he fed him the cracker. "You're catching on, Clint", Steve said as he ran a finger down the soft plume of Clint's chest. "Tony is going to hate this", he added with glee.

           Steve had hit a roadblock on his work a few hours ago, and he found that dancing and singing with the bird had really been helping his creative flow. He had two new projects planned out and Clint was learning to sing to Prince. Win-win.

Steve took a second to shoot an email to Thor about the Company Cookbook, and turned his back on Clint. He started the song over, shaking his hips to the beat. He grabbed a cracker at the end of the first verse, shimmying backwards towards where he knew Clint was dancing along with him.

           Steve sang, "You don't have to be rich, to be my girl. You don't have to be cool, to rule my world. Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with. I just want your extra time and your", he made the kissy noises along with the song, spinning on his heel as he did and pointing at Clint with the cracker. Two things happened at once when Steve turned around.

First, Steve noticed that James was standing in his office doorway, hand on the doorknob, mouth open in obvious shock.

Second, Clint gave a triumphant chirp before saying, "Kiss!", and jumping up and down on his perch. Steve quickly straightened out, shoved the cracker in Clint's dish and wiped his hands off on his pants.

           "Hi", he said, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. He could feel the blush creeping up his neck into his cheeks as James continued to stare at him. "Um. Tony does this all the time. It's a normal thing. Clint gets depressed and this is how he's learned to deal with the---nevermind. That's a lie. And you have no idea what I'm saying, anyway. Because you don't speak English", Steve trailed off.

           "Copier?", James asked. His voice sounded different. Less French. It sounded really familiar, actually, but Steve couldn't quite place it.

           "Yes! Copier!", Steve said, thankful for the change of focus. He waved a hand at the machine in question, and James took the cover off with a huge smile on his face.

While James worked on the copier, Steve went to his computer, typed "Please don't tell", into Google translate, set it to French, and hit the audio button. "S'il vous plaît ne le dites" spilled out of his speakers, and he added "Natasha" on to the end. James glanced at him, smiled, and made the universal secret-keeping motion of turning a key at his lips.

Those lips.

           "Merci", Steve sighed in relief. James gave him another smile before replacing the cover of the copier. He waved a hand at it, and Steve hit the start button. His copies came out smoothly, one after the other.

           "Merci!", Steve repeated, with more enthusiasm. James rolled his eyes, but nodded at Steve anyway before heading out the door. "Au revoir", Steve called after him.

           "Au revoir, Steve", James replied from the hall. His accent definitely wasn't as thick as it was the first day. Something about his voice was nagging at the back of Steve's mind...

Steve was brought back from his thoughts by Clint landing on his shoulder and nipping at his ear. "Kiss!", he chirped, on time with the song that was still playing on repeat.

           "I wish", Steve grumbled before feeding Clint another cracker.

* * *

 

Steve was not prepared to see James again in the elevator after The Prince Incident, but the doors slid open with a ding and Steve saw him standing there in his sinfully tight pants and white v- neck t-shirt. The type of t-shirt people just existed in. He looked effortlessly sexy.

           "Steve Rogers, the man with a plan", Natasha greeted him with a smile.

           "Natasha", Steve replied warily.

           "Please believe I downloaded the footage of you singing and dancing with Clint", she said without any further preamble. Judging by the huge grin on James' face, he knew what Natasha was talking about. Must have been the mention of Clint. "You're excellent at song and dance. If it doesn't work out for you here, I'm sure you could get a job as a traveling show girl. Show guy? Show...man?", she tried.

           "God dammit", Steve sighed.

           "Language", she chided. "Anyway, let's talk more about your song choice---", she said.

           "I have a better idea", Steve replied with a grin.

           "No, please, God, not today", Natasha groaned.

           "Those pants, Nat. I have never seen nicer thighs in my life. Those thighs make me want to sin", he said.

           "Stop. It's Friday, Steve, have mercy on my soul", she whined as the elevator gave an ominous groan and lurch before coming to a complete stop. "No", Natasha whispered.

           "Did this elevator just---", Steve stopped, hoping that if he didn't say it out loud, it wouldn't be true. The elevator made no signs of moving after a moment. "Did this elevator just stop?"

           Natasha nodded once before opening the panel that held the emergency contact phone. "Yes, hello. Our elevator seems to have stopped. Any chance this is a quick fix?", she asked whoever was on the other line.  There was a silence in which her face turned angry. "Scott Lang. You will fix this, and you will fix it soon. It is 5:00 on Friday and I do not have the patience for this". Another short silence. "Perfect", she said, hanging up the phone. "He said it would be about 30 minutes. He quickly amended it to 10".

           "Is, 'you will fix this, and you will fix it soon', your go to when you're threatening people?", Steve asked.

           "It usually works", Natasha said off handedly, sliding down the side of the elevator to sit on the ground. Steve and James followed suit a moment later. Steve watched as the muscles in James' thighs stretched from the exertion of sliding down the wall.

           "So, like I was saying---", he started.

           Natasha cut him off, saying, "You should ask Barnes out".

           Steve saw the deflection for what it was, but he was willing to follow this line of conversation. "I actually think he was going to ask me out today?", he said, voice going high at the end.

           "Oh really", she said, narrowing her eyes. She glanced in James' direction, who was suddenly very interested in the buckle on his boot.

           "Maybe. I don't know. There was a loud crash and he had to go before he could finish his sentence", Steve said, fiddling with the sleeves of his shirt.

           "Ugh. Fucking Groot cockblocking you", Natasha said.

           "I'm sorry. Did you just say Groot?", Steve asked incredulously. Steve had heard stories of Groot, but he still didn't completely believe he existed.

           "Yeah. Quill came to deliver the mail and Groot lumbered in after him. Barnes had left out that blueberry scone on the table, and of course Groot caught wind of it right away. He knocked over the tale, which also had boxes and boxes of Rhodey's files on it. The table tipped over, the boxes fell off, and the files scattered all over the floor. Groot was pretty excited, but Rhodey was pissed", Natasha recounted with a smile. James was frowning, still playing with the buckle on his boot. "Quill couldn't stop laughing. Barnes had to take Groot out for a walk around the building as penance for knocking over Rhodey's files".

           "I still can't believe Fury lets Quill bring his Great Dane with him on his mail runs. I mean, I've heard so many terrible stories. Maria Hill still insists to this day that that dog ate her whole purse", Steve said, shaking his head.

           "It's on camera. I don't know why that is still a debate around here", Natasha replied. "So anyway, you got cockblocked by a dog".

           "Awesome. That's great. I really like Barnes, you know? Like, if his personality could be embodied, he would be as attractive as your French co-worker here", he said, nodding in James' direction. "I mean, he's so sassy. And his voice is so amazing. Like he's always on the verge of laughing even when he's completely serious. If there was a guy that looked like him and had Barnes' personality, he would be a wet dream. Like right out of my imagination".

           "You have the most embarrassing crush right now", Natasha said with a gleeful smile. James had his face buried in his hands. He's probably so bored since he doesn't know what we're talking about. Poor guy.

           "Whatever, I'm not even embarrassed", Steve sniffed.

           "So what you're saying is, I was right all along. You and Barnes should totally go out", she said with a smug expression.

           "Yes, Natasha, as always, you were right. I'll have to sabotage my computer on Monday so I have an excuse to call IT", Steve mused.

           "Just make up something if you have to. I don't think Barnes would complain", she said. The elevator gave a quiet ding and finished its descent to the ground floor. The doors slid open, revealing Scott Lang on the other side.

           "9 minutes! That's a personal best, Romanoff", Lang said with a smile.

           "I'm impressed", she replied, standing up and stretching. "Thanks for saving the day, Lang. You should come out for drinks with us".

           "We're going out for drinks?", Steve asked, pulling himself up by the rail. He shouldn't feel so stiff after sitting for nine minutes. 75 year old his traitor brain supplied. James hurried past them all, bumping into Steve's shoulder as he went.

           "Sorry", he mumbled, ducking his head and stalking out the front door. He's learning English!

           "Damn right we are. Commando, 8:00. Be there, Rogers. And don't be wearing these khakis. Dress to impress because I'm calling Sam and Barnes", she said, poking him in the chest with a perfectly manicured finger.

           "Sam really isn't my type", Steve teased.

           "Shut the fuck up and just be at the bar tonight", she said with an aggressive eye roll, walking out the main doors.

           "Seems like a nice woman", Scott remarked as the lobby doors closed.

           "She's terrifying", Steve corrected him

           "Yeah, that seems about right", Scott said with a smile.

_Thank god she's my friend_ , Steve thought as he walked out into the fresh air.

* * *

 

Steve was sitting on a bar stool across a tiny table from Sam. People he didn't know kept bumping into him, elbowing him in the back and ribs. They hadn't been able to spot Natasha despite her insistence that she was at the bar. Steve looked at his phone again, re-reading his conversation with Nat.

**From Natasha, 8:45 p.m.**

We're here

**From Natasha, 8:46 p.m.**

Having trouble getting James to walk away from the bar. He's feeling shy

**To Natasha, 8:46 p.m.**

Tell him he has nothing to worry about. Sam and I are nice people

**From Natasha, 8:47 p.m.**

He says he just needs a few more drinks. We'll find you soon.

It was now 10:24 and Steve was getting pretty aggravated. He tugged at the sleeve of his henley and shifted around in his seat, getting more uncomfortable by the minute.

           "This place is packed", Sam shouted over the music. He had a beer in his hand and bright smile on his face; he obviously thrived in this kind of situation.

           "I think I might go outside for a minute", Steve replied. He was just sliding off of his bar stool when Natasha stepped up to their table, dragging a very drunk James by the forearm. He was wearing a plaid button up, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Again? This guy and his plaids. “Nevermind”, he said to Sam. “Where have you been?", he asked Natasha.

           "At the bar", she replied crisply. James grinned at her, his head falling on to her shoulder as he started giggling.

           "Well you could have brought your drinks over here and actually hung out with us", Steve replied bitterly. So bitter.

           "Captain Rum!" James abruptly shouted.

           "What?" Steve asked, leaning in to hear him better.

           James held up a bottle of Captain Morgan in his left hand, his drink sloshing in the glass in his right. "Captain Rum!", he repeated. "You're like Captain Rum. Morgan. Captain Morgan. You're like Captain Morgan". Steve was surprised that James was able to speak such fluent, albeit drunkenly rambling, English. He was also surprised that he knew about the Captain joke that Steve had with Barnes. Natasha did say they gossip up there.

           "What are you talking about?", Steve asked, trying to figure out why James' voice sounded weird. Familiar.

           "You're like Captain Morgan cause you make me happy, Steve. You're so funny. And nice, I'm so sad Groot ate the blueberry scone you brought me. Blewbs are my favorite", James slurred.

           With a sickening turn of his stomach completely unrelated to his Vodka, Steve realized why James' voice sounded so familiar, why he knew about the Captain conversation, and why he could speak such fluent English.

           "Barnes?", Steve asked.

           "James! Barnes! James Buchanan Barnes. That's me", he replied with a smile before taking a drink right out of the bottle. "S'been me the whole time. You're so bad with technology. But you're sweet. You like to dance with birbs. Birds".

Steve narrowed his eyes at Natasha, who had the good grace to look ashamed.

           "Steve--", she started.

           "You let me talk about him when he could understand me the whole fucking time? I said such inappropriate things!", Steve yelled.

He heard Sam mumble a "Shit" off to his left, but he ignored it.

           "Really flattered", James slurred, his head lolling dangerously to the side and he stumbled into Natasha.

           "Steve, it was just a joke, I---", Natasha said, wrapping an arm around James to keep him from falling over.

           "Yeah, well it's not fucking funny", Steve spat, standing up to leave.

           "No, Steve, don't go. I rolled up my sleeves, just for you. Know how much you like it, Cap", James giggled as he reached a hand out to grab Steve's arm. Steve easily dodged the sloppy attempt at stopping him, his face turning red with embarrassment.

           "Have a good night", he snapped at Nat as he walked away from all of them.

He was already not looking forward to Monday.


	6. Saturday

**Missed call from Natasha, 12:41 p.m.**

**Missed call from Natasha, 1:03 p.m.**

**Missed call from Natasha, 2:34 p.m.**

**Missed call from Natasha, 3:00 p.m.**

 

**From Natasha, 3:06 p.m.**

Would you just talk to me

**From Natasha, 3:07 p.m.**

I'm sorry, Steve

Steve's phone started to ring again, but he silenced it before it could even ring twice.

He turned his phone off for the rest of the weekend.


	7. Monday, Week 2

Steve's phone started ringing the second he sat down at his desk. The caller ID read ROMANOFF, IT, so he ignored it. It rang again, with the same ID, as he opened his email. He picked up the phone and dropped it back on the cradle.

His inbox was flooded with messages from Natasha. Most of them had "Sorry" as the subject, so he selected every one of them and dragged them over to the trash. He knew Natasha was sorry, and he knew he needed to talk to her, but he wasn't ready to talk yet. And he especially didn't want to talk at work.

His phone started to ring for the third time, and Clint gave an indignant squawk before saying, "Phone, Cap'n!". Steve flipped the bird off, picked up the phone, and hung it up again.

He didn't get any more calls after that.

* * *

 

Steve stood at the doors of the elevator, thumb hovering over the down button. He shook his head, taking the stairs down to the parking lot instead.


	8. Tuesday, Week 2

"Kiss!", Clint chirped, dancing around on his perch. "Kiss!"

           "Not now, Clint", Steve said without looking up from his notepad. He always drew things out by hand before converting them to digital, and he was almost done with this sketch.

           "Kiss!", Clint squawked, flapping his wings around.

           Steve gave a very pointed sigh before getting up and turning on the Prince song that the bird was now obsessed with. He let it play once, Clint dancing and chirping along with the music. Steve fed him a cracker after each chorus. When the song ended, Steve ran a finger over Clint's head, smoothing back the feathers there. "Tony is going to be so annoyed", he said with a smile. Clint gave a happy coo, shuffling closer to Steve and giving his hand an affectionate nip. Clint was obviously on board with the plan to annoy Stark. "Good boy".

The rest of the day passed without a call or an email, which Steve was thankful for.

 

* * *

 

Steve pressed the down button for the elevator out of habit and had to make a hasty retreat when he realized what he had done. He heard the cheery _ding_ of the elevator's arrival just as the door to the stairwell closed with a _thud_ behind him.

_Stairs are good for you anyway._


	9. Wednesday, Week 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the angst is almost over!

Steve decided Wednesday was a good day for sleeping in. He was all caught up on his projects, so he could afford to take a half day and just head in after lunch. He walked in to find Tony diligently typing away at his computer.

           "I expected more from you, Rogers. I'm gone for a week and a half and the only song you manage to teach my bird is _Kiss_ by Prince? I'm disappointed. Clint is smarter than that, he could have handled a bigger load. He could probably learn all the words to Anaconda", Stark said from behind his monitor.

           "Good to see you too, Tony", Steve said as he sat down at his desk and opened his emails.

           "You had a visitor while you were playing hooky", Stark said, waving a hand at the cup sitting on Steve's desk. It was Chai Tea. "Also, Clint and I already started learning Anaconda. Get ready for some Nicki jam sessions".

           "You know I love Nicki", Steve said as he glanced at the tea. There was a post-it stuck to it that read, _Quidditch Captain Oliver Wood. A man of many talents. My childhood crush. I like to think he was the forgiving type. Hoping you are, too. -B_

Steve took the note off the cup, reading it again before sticking it to his desk and drinking the tea. _It's not because I forgave him. It's because it would be a sin to let such good tea go to waste_ , Steve told himself as the warm cinnamon drink soothed his throat.

* * *

 

"Pepper, you're gonna have to take this up with Steve", Tony said, jabbing the down button for the elevator and handing his phone over to Steve.

           "What?", Steve asked, trying to step around Tony to get to the stairs.

           "She won't listen to me, Rogers. You have to talk to her", he said, thrusting the phone further into Steve's space. Steve glanced from the phone to the numbers listed above the elevator, indicating which floor the car was at. 10 was lit up. "You don't want to keep her waiting", Tony said. Steve reluctantly grabbed the cellphone as the elevator doors gave a _ding_ and slid open to reveal Natasha and James standing in the car.

           "Romanoff! And some grungy hipster!", Tony greeted as he got on the elevator. Steve stood frozen outside the elevator for a moment, debating whether or not he could still make a run for it.

           "Steve?", Pepper asked. Probably for the third time.

           "Sorry, Pepper. I'm here. How are you?", he asked, caving and walking in to elevator.

           Nat started to tell Tony, "His name is---", but James cut her off before she could finish.

           "James Barnes, but you can call me Bucky. I just recently started here, I work in IT, and while I do know how to speak French and Russian, English is my native language. I am very fluent in English", James. Barnes. Bucky said, giving Steve a look.

           "Thank you for that weirdly comprehensive introduction", Tony said, glancing at Natasha with raised eyebrows. "When did Fury start hiring weirdos?"

           "Maria actually hired me", Bucky pointed out without looking away from Steve.

           "Technicality", Stark said, waving his hand around in the air.

           "---And I was wondering if that was true? Tony has been trying to tell me for ages you don't mind", Pepper said. Shit.      

           "What was that, Pep?", Steve asked, looking away from Bucky.

           "You seem distracted", Pepper noted. "Is the Chai Tea IT guy in the elevator with you?"

           "Yeah, and I just. Wait, how--", Steve started to say.

           "Don't apologize. We can talk about everything over dinner. Meet me at that burger place on 4th", Pepper said. Steve knew Pepper well enough to recognize that this was not a suggestion.

           "Dinner?", Steve asked, glancing at Tony.

           "Yes. Dinner. And Tony is not invited. See you there", she said, hanging up the phone before Steve could respond.

           "Are you having dinner with my girlfriend?", Tony asked as the doors gave a _ding_ and slid open. Natasha took a step towards Steve, opening her mouth like she was about to say something.

           "Looks like it", Steve replied, handing the phone back to Stark. "And you weren't invited", he added on, making a hasty retreat out the doors.

           "Watch your back, Rogers, I know where you work!", Stark called out as the lobby doors closed behind Steve.

            _Well that was a successful avoidance and retrea_ t, Steve thought as he drove out of the parking lot and headed for Pepper's favorite burger joint.

* * *

 

Pepper smiled up at Steve from behind her menu. "Steve Rogers", she said, setting the menu down and standing up to wrap her thin arms around him.

He returned her hug with a smile and, "Pepper Potts". " How was your romantic getaway?", he asked as they both sat down.

           "California was amazing. We drove down the coast and ate at little hole-in-wall local restaurants. Tony planned a very nice vacation, and then spent most of his time on said vacation drawing up new plans for work. It was not romantic", she said, taking a sip of her water.

           "I'm....sorry to hear that?", Steve tried. "I mean, sounds like you had a nice time anyway?"

           "I fully expected him to not be able to actually take a vacation, so I wasn't let down. It was nice to be out of town for a while", she replied with a smile. "I would be lying if I said I didn't also do some work while we were out there".

           "You're a hardworking woman. That's why you’re a CEO, after all", Steve said.

           "Too true. But enough about me, tell me about the hottie from IT", she said with a grin.

           "Hello. Welcome to Burger Urge. What can I get you?", their waiter asked. Steve was grateful for the interruption.

           "I'll be building my own burger. Medium, with an egg, cheese, and bacon on top", Pepper said. The waiter gave her an unwarranted judgemental look before writing down her order.

           "And I'll have the Bacon BBQ", Steve said. He tried to think of some way to prolong the ordering process and avoid his conversation with Pepper, but their waiter snatched up their menus and disappeared before he could do anything.

           "I love the food here but the service is awful", Pepper groaned. "Anyway, IT guy", she prodded.

           "I feel like we should talk about whatever it was you wanted to talk about on the phone first", Steve suggested.

           "I recognize this for the diversion tactic it is, but I'm going to  let it slide for the moment. You aren't getting out of this conversation", she warned. "Tony purchased two more birds while we were on vacation. I told him he absolutely could not take them to work because I know how much you dislike working with Clint. I mean, that was always a prime conversation topic of ours during our weekly 'complain about Tony' calls", she said.

           "Wednesday afternoons, while he would meet with Banner. Those were always great calls", Steve said wistfully.

           "I do miss them", Pepper agreed. "So anyway, I put the kibosh on taking the birds to work since I knew you would be annoyed, but Tony claims you love the bird".

           Steve groaned before admitting, "Clint was very annoying at first, but he's really grown on me. I actually think he likes to annoy Tony as much as I do".

           Pepper gave a soft laugh before saying, "Well, don't we all? So you'd be okay with it if Tony brought Kate and Lucky into the office as well?"

           "I guess. Worst case scenario, I have to quit my job because Tony turns our office in to a zoo", he joked.

           "I know you're joking, but he actually tried to buy a camel the other day. 'For the aesthetic', he said", Pepper told him, putting air quotes around the end.

           "Jesus", Steve sighed, running a hand down his face.

           "Just be glad you don't have to live with him", Pepper said as their waiter came back with their burgers. He put down their food and left without even saying anything to them. "Rude", Pepper sniffed, fanning her napkin out on her lap. "Anyway, enough about Tony. Tell me about your distractingly adorable IT guy". Steve opened his mouth to protest, but Pepper cut him off with, "Yes, we're doing this. Now spill". And really, Steve wasn't going to try to argue with her.

           "His name is James. Barnes. James Barnes. But apparently he goes by Bucky?", Steve started. "Shit. Let me start over. When I first met him, Natasha introduced him as James, and she told me he didn't speak English. Which I believed, no questions asked, because why would someone lie about that? So I spent the next week talking about how fucking hot this guy is. Because he is. So hot". Pepper waved her hand in front of her in a sign to elaborate.

"He's tall and muscular without being too muscular. Maybe lean is the best word for it? I don't know. Anyway, his eyes are this really gorgeous blue color where sometimes they look grey and sometimes they look like the brightest blue. I've tried to re-create it with my paints but it never turns out right. And his mouth, Pep. It's so pouty and distracting and I just want to put my mouth on it. Then there's his hair. It's always so perfectly coiffed and tousled and it looks so fucking soft I want to run my hands through it so bad", Pepper nodded along with each description, her eyes bright with a smile. "He wears plaids and hoodies and skinny jeans and he has fucking Harry Potter tattoos. He basically walked out of my imagination and into that elevator. And I told Natasha as much, every single day. While he was in there. Which was fine because he doesn't speak English", Steve said.

           "I'm getting a bad feeling about this", Pepper said with a small frown.

           "Trust me, it gets better. So I ended up calling IT a couple times this week since Tony wasn't there to fix everything for me", he said.

           "I'm gonna go ahead and say this is all Tony's fault then", she teased.

           "When isn't it?", Steve joked back. "So this guy Barnes kept answering when I called. And he was so sassy. We had this running joke about which Captain I'm most like and he made so many great references! I mean there was Star Trek, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Firefly. And he drinks chai tea", he explained.

           "Oh no, not chai tea", Pepper said in mock horror.

           "Yes, chai tea! You know it's my favorite, Pep! How could I not be attracted to a sassy, pop-culture loving, chai-tea drinking man?!", Steve asked incredulously, stuffing fries into his mouth out of stress.

           "How indeed", she mused with a small smile.

           "Anyway, Friday after work, I get stuck in the elevator with Nat and James and I end up saying a bunch of inappropriate things about James, as per usual; but then I start talking about how I'm attracted to Barnes too. That night we all go out to the Commando for drinks, right? And James walks up to me, drunk as can be, and starts talking about how I'm like Captain Morgan. And then it hit me. James and Barnes are the same guy. I've been saying all this lewd stuff about him and he could understand me the whole time. And, to top  it all off, I've confessed that a man who looks like James and has the personality of Barnes is basically a walking wet dream for me and he fucking knows it!", Steve exclaimed, taking a huge bite of his burger. His speech was a little muffled by his food, but Pepper didn't seem to have any problem following him as he continued, ”So Bucky, James/Barnes, is super drunk and he tried to get me to stay or whatever, and I just can't handle it. I left! I haven't talked to Nat since Friday because the whole time she knew. She even kept telling me to ask him out", he finished as he gulped down his food and took another huge bite.

           "Wow", Pepper said. She took a bite of her own burger, and nodded her head thoughtfully. "Tony is in big trouble for this one", she joked. Steve gave a small laugh, glad that Pepper could still take a dramatic story and make a light-hearted comment to soften the blow a little. "I think you have every right to be mad at Natasha and James, but you really should talk to them both. I've known Natasha for a few years now, and if there is one thing I'm sure of, it's that she cares fiercely about her friends. She didn't mean to hurt you and I'm sure she regrets what she did", she said. Steve nodded in agreement. "As far as James. It's obvious you like him, and all the cards are already out on the table. Is there any indication that he feels the same way?"

           "He made me chai tea, and he said 'there might be more cups of tea in my future'. He told me at the bar he had rolled his sleeves up because 'he knew how much I liked it', and he came to see me today while I was gone. He left a note with another mug of tea.", Steve said.

           Pepper nodded thoughtfully before saying, "I'd say that's pretty indicative. What did the note say?"

           "Captain Oliver Wood. Apparently it was his childhood crush", Steve said.

           "Well you guys have that in common", Pepper pointed out with a smirk. "But in all seriousness, it sounds like he's attracted to you to. So you guys just need to use your words and work this out".

           Steve groaned. "But Pepper. I said so many embarrassing things. And he just sat there and let me say them. He lied to me!"

           "Remember that he was most likely under Natasha's influence and she can be a terrifying woman when she wants to be", Pepper pointed out. "Try talking to Nat first, then talk to your boy".

           "I know you’re right, because you're always the voice of reason, but that doesn't mean I have to like what you say", Steve pouted, dragging his french fry through his ketchup. Pepper raised one perfectly groomed eyebrow at him.  "Thanks for your advice, and sorry I'm acting like a child".

           Pepper gave a short laugh before saying, "Honey, I live with Tony Stark. You are no match for his childishness".

           "Good point", Steve said with a smile. "But honestly, Pepper. Thank you. I needed this".

           "What are friends for? Now, let's get some ice cream from our rude waiter", she said, waving over the man in question.

           "A woman after my own heart", Steve said with a grin.

_Thank god for reasonable women and ice cream_ , Steve thought as he ate his mint chocolate chip and  Pepper told him all about California.


	10. Thursday, Week 2

**To Natasha Romanoff <n.romanoff@shield.it.net>, 9:07 a.m.**

Let's run some numbers. 9:30.

_Received at 9:07 a.m._

**From Natasha Romanoff <n.romanoff@shield.it.net>, 9:08 a.m.**

Wouldn't miss it

**From Darcy Lewis <d.lewis@shield.it.net>, 9:10 a.m.**

The murder eyes are gone, hallelujah

**From Darcy Lewis <d.lewis@shield.it.net>, 9:11 a.m.**

I hope you're planning to get rid of the sad puppy dog eyes too

**To Darcy Lewis <d.lewis@shiled.it.net>, 9:12 a.m.**

One at a time, Darcy. One at a time

_Received at 9:12 a.m._

**From Darcy Lewis <d.lewis@shield.net>, 9:12 a.m.**

Work faster

There was a picture attached of Bucky, slumped over at his desk, hood up over his head, chin in his palm with a frown on his face. Steve deleted the email before heading down stairs.

* * *

 

The elevator doors slid open with a soft ding and Steve was immediately hit with the dusty smell of the Archive department. It was located on the second sub-level, below maintenance, and Steve had a sneaking suspicion most SHIELD employees didn't even know this department existed. Steve and Natasha used to meet up down here all the time to "run numbers", a.k.a. gossip and catch up on company time. Nat had even managed to smuggle a couch down into the corner of the room, in a camera blind spot. Steve still had no idea how it got down here, but he wasn't going to complain. He had taken many a paid nap on that couch.

           "Been a while since you've been here", a voice called from somewhere deep within the stacks. Steve walked down the main aisle, hooked a left at the end, and saw Peter Parker sitting cross legged on top of his desk, laptop resting on his legs.

           "Hey, Pete. How's it goin?", Steve greeted with a wave.

           "Pretty good. Doing some research for class", he said, never taking his eyes off the screen.

           "Got a tough semester?", Steve asked.

           "Nah. Neuroscience, Organic Chemistry, Physics 302, and a class on invertebrates", he replied. Steve failed to see how that was not a tough semester, but he let it slide. "Reading up on spiders", he added.

           "That sounds thoroughly disgusting", Steve pointed out. Peter finally looked up from his laptop, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he did.

           "The class schedule or the spiders?", he asked.

           "Both", Steve said.

           "I suppose my classes do sound a bit daunting. Especially to a man who doesn't know how to check caps lock", Peter said with a smirk.

           "Jesus. Does everyone know about that? How did you find out?", Steve asked.

           "Your homegirl Natasha was down here yesterday. Told me all about it. She's the one who suggested I write my paper about The Black Widow, actually. We have a spider connection", Peter replied, wiggling his fingers at the end.

           "That couldn't be much creepier", Steve pointed out as Peter closed his laptop and slid off his desk, stretching his hands over his head as he stood.

           "My mission in life complete", he said. "Anyway, I'm gonna go up to the lobby for a bit while you and Natasha catch up. Quill and Groot should be coming around with the mail any minute and I haven't seen that overly-happy, overly-large dog in too long. Be back in a bit", he said over his shoulder as he weaved through the stacks of binders.

           "Say hi to Groot for me!", Steve yelled out, but there was no reply. "Even though he cockblocked me", he said to himself. Steve turned away from Peter's desk and headed over to the corner where Nat's couch was set up, dragging a hand along all the binders he passed along the way. SHIELD kept a digital catalog of all their work, but they had physical copies of most things as well. He came to stop just a few feet from the couch, in the last section in the aisle. This section was the only one that wasn't organized by date or project, and it was Steve's favorite section. It was a collection of work that people had submitted that didn't make the final cut, or that got scrapped at the last moment, either by a project manager or by the person who designed it. Work that had been forgotten. Work that people from other departments had designed for various projects or initiatives. There was a lot of potential in these binders, potential that people had given up on.

Steve liked to look through them from time to time, getting inspired by them more often than not. He pulled out a binder, opening it at random to a flier that someone from Maintenance had designed for last year's Fall Fest. It was in the style of 50's horror movie poster. Steve smiled at the creativity and hard work that went in to the design. Some of the best work here was work that others had deemed unworthy.

           "You always get so sappy over other people's art work", Natasha said from behind him. She had managed to get into the Archives department and sit down on the couch without Steve noticing. Maybe her and Peter did have some kind of creepy spider connection.

"I get sappy over a lot of things", Steve said, closing the binder and putting it back on the shelf. He plopped down on the couch next to Natasha with a sigh.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Natasha finally said, "Sorry".

           "It's okay", Steve said.

           "No, it's not. I let you make a fool of yourself because I thought it would be funny. You and James should definitely both still be mad at me", she replied

           "He's mad at you, too?", Steve asked.

           "Pissed. He didn't want to lie to you in the first place, but I convinced him it would be hilarious”, she explained.

    “And he just went along with it”, Steve pointed out.

    “Don’t hold it against him. I can be very persuasive. You know this”, she said.

           "It's just so embarrassing, Nat. I said I wanted to trace his tattoos with my tongue! I said his thighs make me want to sin for fuck's sake. I mean, I confessed not only my raging boner for him, but also my enormous crush on his personality. I called him a fucking wet dream in front of him! How am I supposed to look him in the eye after that?", Steve complained as he felt his face go red again with the embarrassment from the reminder that James - Bucky -  had understood him the whole time.

           "You’re gonna have to suck it up and talk to him. He's been pretty miserable lately actually; he thinks he fucked up pretty bad", Natasha said.

           "Well, he lied to me, so he kind of did. But I'm mostly avoiding him out of embarrassment", Steve admitted.

           "You two need to use your words", Natasha groaned.

           "You are not the first red-headed woman to tell me that", Steve said with a smile.

           "Pepper is always right", Natasha replied. "You should listen to her".

           "I know", Steve said, as Peter came down the main aisle, stopping at the end and waving at them.

           "Romanoff" he said, with a nod in her direction.

           "Parker", she replied. "You ever do any real work down here?"

           "About as much as you guys do", he quipped before turning on his heel and heading towards his desk.

           "He's got a point. I should head back to my office", Steve sighed, getting up from the couch and stretching. Natasha stood up and wrapped him in a tight hug.

           "Sorry again. And thanks for running some numbers with me", she said when she pulled away.

           "What are best friends for?", he replied with a smile as they headed out of the stacks and into the elevator.

_ding_

           "And Steve, give James a chance. I think he really likes you", Natasha said as the doors slid open on the 8th floor and Steve walked out into the hall.

           Steve nodded and gave her a small smile before saying, "See you later, Nat". Natasha waved as the doors slid closed with a _ding_.

* * *

 

Steve stayed late at work because he and Tony had spent three hours teaching Clint, Kate, and Lucky to harmonize Hedwig's Theme, and he really needed to finalize the Cookbook so they could send the final design to the printers tomorrow. When the elevator doors slid open, it was empty inside. Steve told himself he was not disappointed, but the sinking feeling in his chest was pretty hard to ignore.


	11. Friday, Week 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, technically, this is the last chapter, but I'll be adding a "bonus round" after this some time. 
> 
> Also, I cry about Bucky and Steve a lot on tumblr at [herobuckybarnes](http://herobuckybarnes.tumblr.com/)

**From Thor Odinson <t.odinson@shield.marketing.net>, 9:07 a.m.**

The cookbook looks flawless, bro! Excellent work. Sending it off to Printing this afternoon.

**From Tony Stark <t.stark@shield.net>, 9:10 a.m.**

Sequins or satin?

-sent from mobile

There was a picture attached of "flight suits", that looked suspiciously like rompers for birds.

**To Tony Stark <t.stark@shiled.net>, 9:11 a.m.**

Neither. Please let the birds live in peace

_Received at 9:11 a.m._

**From Tony Stark <t.stark@shiled.net>. 9:12 a.m.**

You're right, the plain polyester is probably best. Getting an eye patch for Lucky, too. Be back after lunch

-sent from mobile

Steve rolled his eyes before looking over at the birds in question.

           "Cap'n!", Clint squawked. Kate fluttered her wings and Lucky pulled his head out from under his wing. "Kiss!", Clint chirped. Kate and Lucky both joined in, until all three of them were saying, "Kiss!" over and over.

           "Okay, okay!", Steve said with a laugh. "Needy bunch today", he added as he started playing the Prince song for the birds. He got out his box of saltines and fed them all crackers as they sang along.

           "I'm disappointed there's no dancing going on right now", a voice said from the doorway. Steve turned to see Sam Wilson standing there.

           "From what I hear, you can see the footage any time you want. Nat posted it on the intranet page", Steve groaned.

           "You know nobody checks that thing anyway”, Sam said, waving the issue away.  “I just wanted to swing by and say thanks for talking to Nat. She was really bummed about you being upset with her", he said.

           "Good thing you were there to cheer her up", Steve joked.

           Sam chuckled before responding, "There's only so much a pretty face can do. That woman is serious about her friends, especially you. I'm glad you guys worked it out".

           "Me too", Steve said with a smile.

           "So when are you planning to hit up your boy for a date?", Sam asked.

           "Sam, I've told you before, you're not really my type", Steve teased.

              "Ha, ha", Sam deadpanned. "You know what I mean".

           "Did Nat put you up to this? Seems like the kind of thing she would do", Steve said with narrowed eyes.

           "Nah man, just asking my favorite Project Manager when he's gonna get his shit together and ask out the guy he's been pining over for a couple weeks, the guy who has been conveniently pining back", Sam said.

           "I appreciate your concern", Steve replied.

           "That didn't answer my question though", Sam pointed out.

           "No, I guess it didn't", Steve said with a shrug.

           "Alright, okay. I can take a hint", Sam conceded, lifting his hands in a gesture of surrender. "I'll be back after lunch so we can work out some more details on our project. Strictly work", he said, backing out of the office.

           "Sounds good!", Steve said, turning back to the birds and feeding them each a cracker before shutting the box of saltines. Clint cooed, pushing Kate and Lucky over to nuzzle under Steve's hand and give him an affectionate nip on the palm.

           "Cap'n Cruuuuuunch", he chirped. Kate and Lucky just stared at Steve. They had not learned how to say Cap'n Crunch and Steve was glad for that. Clint was the original Annoying Office Pet, and he deserved to have one special talent.

           "I know, buddy", Steve said with a smile, running his hand over Clint's head. "You're still my favorite", he whispered before turning away from their perch and getting back to his work.

* * *

 

_ding_

The elevator door slid open to reveal Darcy standing in the corner, looking worn and tired.

           "Hey, Darcy", Steve said as he stepped in.

           "Hey, Steve", she replied, her voice stripped of its usual cheery tone.

           "You okay?", he asked.

           "Been a long day", she answered. "Server crashed at 2:00, and Accounting lost all their files. Nat and Bucky stayed to help them with recovery, but she sent me home since I came in early to help HR with their new website. God have mercy on their souls".

           "That does sound pretty terrible", Steve admitted.

           "It's worse when you know that Hammer, Schmidt, and Zola all work in Accounting, and they are all asshats".

           "Don't Sitwell and Aldrich work up there too?", Steve asked.

           Darcy scrunched up her face before saying, "I forgot about them. Also shit dicks".

           "How long was recovery supposed to take?", Steve asked

           "They should be out by 8 at the latest", Darcy replied, her eyes drooping closed as she said it.

**To Natasha, 5:34 p.m.**

Sounds like your day went to shit. Meet me at the Red Room when you're done. Drinks on me. Bad Karaoke on drunken patrons. Invite whoever you want

**From Natasha, 5:34 p.m.**

Steve Rogers, the man with a plan

**To Natasha, 5:35 p.m.**

Just to clarify, I'm only buying drinks for you. Your friends do not get free drinks

**From Natasha, 5:35 p.m.**

And that's why I love you. See you there

           "You wanna grab some drinks at the Red Room later tonight?", Steve asked, pocketing his phone as the elevator doors slid open with a _ding_.

           "That sounds amazing. I'm going home to sleep off this day, and then I will meet you there", Darcy said as she trudged out of the elevator.

           "See you then!", Steve said as they parted ways outside the lobby doors.

           "Gonna be a good night", Steve said to himself as he pulled out of the parking lot

* * *

 

           "So Hammer says, 'I don't need a woman to show me how to fix this', and I lost it", Natasha was telling their table. Sam was shaking his head, Scott  looked like he couldn't be more excited to see where the story went. "I started swearing in Russian, waving my hands around, and he actually cowered. I had to walk away or I was going to strangle him", she finished, taking a huge drink of her Vodka. Someone was doing a bad rendition of Barbie Girl up on the stage.

           "I couldn't stop laughing", Darcy said, taking a swig of her own drink. "Bucky sent a virus to Hammer's personal laptop after that, by the way".

           "James is always a gentleman", Natasha said with a smile. "I thought he was going to kill Schmidt after you left, though. He kept telling us he was on a very tight schedule, but he has that stupid accent and it sounds like 'sheshule', and James can't stand it. I thought he was going to break a keyboard".

           "I would pay money to see that", Sam said, laughing.

           "It wouldn't be the first one he broke", Lang put in. "I just got called up to the IT office the other day on account of a broken keyboard".

           "That was incident was completely unrelated to anything or anyone at this table", Darcy slurred.

           "Right....", Scott replied, taking a sip of his beer. The Barbie Girl Karaoke mercifully came to an end, and everyone gave half-hearted applause as the drunken man climbed down off the stage, yelling "Wade Wilson, out!". 

           "I'm sure it's not the weirdest thing you've been called for", Sam said with a grin.

           "No, actually, it isn't", Scott said, giving Steve a pointed look.

           "What did I do?!" Steve asked incredulously.

           "The weirdest call I've ever gotten was earlier this week. There was a one-eyed bird wreaking havoc in the lobby. It was tearing apart the fake plants, squawking at people and nipping them. It kept saying "Kiss", but in a really demanding tone. Nobody could catch it", Scott said.

           "Okay, that was not my fault", Steve said, putting his hands up in front of his chest. "Tony took the birds out for a walk --- "

           "BirdS? Plural?! When did you get more birds? I need to visit your office!" Darcy interjected.

           "--And Lucky chewed through his leash. Flew away. Tony brought Kate and Clint back to our office before he went to get the runaway", Steve explained.

           "I couldn't even catch the damn thing in a net!" Scott complained.

           "All you need is crackers", Steve said sagely "It works every time".

           "I thought that was just a stupid cliché?", Natasha asked.

           "So did I. But, nope, birds actually love crackers", Steve replied. "At least ours do. I don't know, maybe we have weird birds".

           "Don't talk bad about the Hawkeyes!", Darcy yelled, pointing a finger at Steve

           "You named their birds the Hakweyes?", Sam asked

           "What else am I supposed to call them as a collective group?", Darcy asked, insulted that Sam didn't appreciate her nickname for the birds.

           "The Falcons. Falcon sounds way cooler than Hawkeye", he scoffed.

           "The Falcons are a sports team though", Scott pointed out. "Hawkeyes is better".

           "Agreed", Natasha said, taking  sip of her vodka.

           "Aren't you supposed to be on my side?", Sam asked, frowning. Natasha leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek, which turned his frown into a stupid grin pretty quickly. Natasha returned the dopey grin easily.

Someone in a dark grey hoodie was climbing up on to the karaoke stage. It was hard to see his face, but his build looked familiar.

           "I'd like to dedicate this song to someone I recently embarrassed beyond belief. This is me, evening the playing field, Cap", he said before turning his back on the crowd as the music came on. He started shaking his hips to the beat, singing along to the opening verse. _"You don't have to be beautiful, to turn me on. I just need your body baby, from dusk till dawn. You don't need experience, to turn me out. You just leave it all up to me; I'm gonna show you what it's all about"_ , he crooned, dancing along as he did. He spun around and pointed out at the crowd as the chorus started. " _You don't have to be rich, to be my girl. You don't have to be cool, to rule my world. Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with. I just want your extra time and your----_ " he made the kissy noises, bobbing his head from side to side as he did, his hood falling away from his face, "--- _Kiss_ ". A roar went up from the tables closest to the stage, women waving their hands in the air and yelling 'Wooo!'. Bucky just grinned out at the crowd.

He started dancing around the stage, unzipping his hoodie as went. " _You got to not talk dirty, baby, if you want to impress me. You can't be too flirty, mama. I know how to undress me, yeah. I want to be your fantasy; maybe you could be mine. You just leave it all up to me, we could have a good time_ ", he sang, sliding his hoodie off his shoulders and dropping it on the stage. He was in a black v-neck t-shirt now that showed off his tattoos. He dragged his hand from his shoulder down to his hip as he sang the chorus again, shaking his hips the whole time.

Steve finally tore his eyes away from the stage when he felt Natasha jab him in the ribs with her elbow. She was smiling at him, one eyebrow cocked as Bucky danced around the stage to the music.

           "Did you put him up to this?!", Steve hissed at her.

           "I didn't even know he was here!" she told him. "And this is way better than my suggestion anyway", she added. Steve had to admit, it was a pretty good show. Bucky was actually a pretty good singer, and what he lacked in skill he more than made up for with enthusiasm.

           There was one more chorus, which Bucky delivered with extra attitude, pointing right at Steve as he sang " _I just want your extra time and your kiss_ ". The song ended, the bar exploding in applause. Bucky picked up his sweatshirt and jumped down off the stage. Several women in the front row grabbed at his shirt and he gently pried their hands off, making his way through the crowd towards Steve's table.

He slid into the space between Steve and Natasha, and Steve could smell the rum on his breath when he said, "Got room for one more over here?", running a hand through his hair as he did.

           "Hell yes we do!", Sam crowed, sliding his stool over, dragging Natasha over next to him to make a space for Bucky, who pulled a stool over from the table next to them.

           Bucky's eyes were bright and he had a huge smile when he stuck his hand out to Steve, saying, "Hi, I'm James Buchanan Barnes, but you can call me Bucky. Can I buy you a drink?" His speech was flowing, but not slurred, and Steve was glad to know Bucky wasn't drunk.

           "Suppose so. I'll have whatever you're having", Steve said with a smile.

           "You got it, Cap", Bucky said with a grin, slipping away from their table and heading towards the bar.

           "Do you need us all to leave right now?", Scott asked over the karaoke  music. Wade Wilson was back, and he was singing Sarah McLachlahn. Very poorly, but with a lot of heart.

           "Are you kidding me?" Darcy shrieked. "I wouldn't miss this for the world. Not going anywhere", she said, gleefully tossing a piece of popcorn in to her mouth.

           "I think it would be more weird if you guys all left at this point", Steve said, shaking his head. Bucky was headed back to their table with two drinks in hand.

           "Fireball and coke for the guy with the cute smile and even cuter blush", Bucky said, setting a glass down in front of Steve. Steve felt his blush deepen at the compliment.

           "Thanks", he said, lips curling into a smile. Bucky smiled back at him, eyes shining with mischief.

           "So how many one dollar bills got stuffed in your shirt and/or pants on your way over here?", Sam asked.

           Bucky finally looked away from Steve, turning to Sam and saying, "Enough to buy this guy more  drinks to keep that adorable alcohol flush going". Steve's face turned an even brighter red.

           "God, it's worse than that time I raised my hand and told him his sweater was inside out while he was presenting that Movie In The Park Project", Darcy said. "So much blushing".

           "I lost a bet, okay, Darcy. Nobody would have noticed if you hadn't said anything", Steve scoffed.

           "I noticed", Sam said indignantly.

           "Everyone noticed", Natasha added from her spot under Sam's arm. That's cute, Steve thought. "You should have known better than to bet against Stark"

           "He knew about the bet and he purposely changed the outcome! We both know I would have won if he hadn't found out", Steve cried. He was still pretty bitter about it. He had bet Natasha that Tony couldn't go a whole day without saying something conceited. It was such a safe bet, until Tony found out. He went the whole day without saying one self-centered thing, and at 5:00, he abruptly stood up from his desk and walked up to Steve. "It's 5:00 now, which means the day is over and I can officially say, I am the greatest man you know, and I am really looking forward to you having to make that presentation with your sweater inside out. Have a nice night, Rogers".

           "A bet is a bet. Not my fault he found out", Nat sing-songed.

           "And whose fault was it, exactly?", Steve asked with narrowed eyes.

           "Rocket", Natasha replied matter-of-factly.

           "Please tell me that is some kind of nickname", Scott said

           "It was a nickname that he earned with the Rocket Incident Which We Do Not Speak Of", Natasha replied. Scott and Bucky both looked disappointed by that response. Steve was glad they weren't going to re-hash the rocket story; he still hadn't recovered from the last time he heard it.

           "Fucking Rocket", Darcy said with a laugh. "What a crazy, crazy man. I heard he works at some kind of raccoon sanctuary now".

           "Not surprising", Sam said with a nod of his head. "Glad he's gone though, since we got Barnes for a replacement".

           "Yeah", Steve said, nodding his head. "I'm liking Bucky a lot better than Rocket for sure", he said with a smile, taking a sip of his drink.

           "Bet you are", Darcy said under her breath.

           Bucky returned his smile, leaning in to his space to whisper in his ear, "Wanna get out of here?"

           "God, yes", Steve replied, downing the rest of his drink and sliding off his stool. "Thanks for everything guys, I'll see you all Monday", he said to the table.

           "Have a good night", Natasha said with a smirk and raised eyebrow. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do". Bucky scoffed next to him.

           His other friends were kind enough to send him off with a chorus of 'see you later's and a round of waves instead of continued mockery. Steve gave Natasha a look that said why can't you be normal like our other friends' before waving to everyone as he walked away from the table. He could feel the heat pouring off Bucky as they made their way to the door and suddenly Steve was very nervous. Where exactly were they going to _go_? What were they going to _do_? Steve was no blushing virgin, but the thought of being alone and buzzed with Bucky made him nervous.

           They finally got through the front door and out into the chilly Autumn night. Bucky pulled his hoodie back on, zipping it part way up his chest. Steve mourned the loss of the sight of Bucky's tattoos.

           "So, Steve, you have a good time tonight?", Bucky asked, pulling Steve out of his tattoo-tracing daydream.

           Steve smiled, saying, "Probably my best night out in a while. Never been serenaded before". Bucky's shoulder bumped into his and Steve felt a thrill run through him at the contact.

           "What a shame. You deserve all the serenades", Bucky replied. "I mean, have you seen yourself? I'm surprised there aren't several odes written to your shoulders alone. And your eyes! Sonnet worthy, at the very least. I mean, One Direction could probably make a few million on a pop song written about your smile", he rambled.

           Steve blushed before saying, "I think you've already leveled the field enough with the singing and dancing. Gratuitous flattery is not necessary".

           "Gratuitous flattery is necessary when it's genuine though", Bucky countered. "I'm not just saying it to level the field, I really mean it". Steve's ears were burning.

           "I don't know how you handled it when I said all that stuff. I'm embarrassed and you're not being nearly as crass as I was", he mumbled.

           "I grew up with Natasha. I don't know if she ever told you that. We were neighbors, but we basically lived at each others' houses, and she's like a sister to me. So needless to say, I've had a lot of time to perfect my poker face", he explained.

           "She mentioned you, but never by name", Steve said, remembering a lot of stories about Natasha's 'brother'. And really, as he thought about those stories, he realized his crush on Bucky had started long before last week. He just hadn't known it.

           "Natalia does like her secrets from time to time", Bucky conceded.

           "I wish she hadn't kept you a secret for so long", Steve blurted, cringing at how stupid it sounded.

           "Well, we'll have to make up for some lost time", Bucky said, stopping in front of a book shop and pulling the door open, motioning for Steve to go in ahead of him. The shop was small and quaint, the warmth from inside fogging the windows. There was a counter along the wall to the right, a barista arranging mugs while a coffee machine whirred and steamed next to her. The back of the shop had shelves of books arranged to make little alcoves, which were furnished with over-stuffed chairs and mis-matched tables. Steve was a little disappointed he had never been here before. "Jane. Does Heimdall ever let you have the weekend off?", Bucky asked as he walked up to the counter.

           "But if I didn't work on the weekends, when would I get to see you, Bucky?", she asked, "You having your usual?"

           "Fair point. I'm gonna switch it up this time. Let's go with one pump of vanilla and two pumps of hazlenut", he said. She picked up one of the largest mugs and got to work on his drink. Bucky turned to Steve and asked, "What are you having?"

           "Um. What are my options?", Steve asked, looking around for a menu and failing to find one anywhere.

           "Whatever you want", Bucky said with a smile.

           "Okay", Steve said, trailing off as he tried to think of something. Jane put Bucky's mug on the counter, spraying a heaping portion of whipped cream on top and sliding it towards him.

           Steve almost choked when Bucky moaned after taking a sip of the coffee. "You're the best barista ever, no questions asked', Bucky said, taking another sip of the drink. "Wanda and Pietro need to take lessons from you".

           "Some things just can't be taught", she replied with a shrug of her shoulders. "So what can I get you?", she asked, turning to Steve.

           "Ummm", Steve stalled, still not sure of what he wanted.

           "You've been hailed as the most creative man at SHIELD, and yet you can't come up with a simple coffee?", Bucky teased.

           "Nobody has ever called me that", Steve scoffed, trying to think of something that would taste good. He was starting to get a little embarrassed that he needed a menu to make a fucking drink.

           "Sam Wilson never shuts up about you", Bucky said, rolling his eyes. "He'll have one pump vanilla, two pumps nutmeg, and one pump almond", he spouted off at Jane. Jane nodded in affirmation, grabbed another large mug, and got to work on the drink.

           "That's exactly what I was going to suggest", Steve said with a smirk.

           "Sure it was, Cap", Bucky replied, taking another sip of coffee, eyes shining over the rim of his mug. Jane put the cup down on the counter, covering the top with whipped cream. Bucky smiled, saying, "Extra whipped cream: the crucial ingredient in any warm beverage".

           "Can't argue with that", Steve said, picking up the cup and taking a sip. He understood now why Bucky had moaned at the first sip of his own coffee. _Best coffee everrrrr_ Steve's brain sang. Bucky gave Jane $10, said thanks, and headed towards one of the alcoves in the back. Jane gave Steve a wink before he turned and followed Bucky. Bucky took the beat-up floral patterned chair, leaving Steve with the velvet covered wing-back chair across the small table from him. Bucky put his feet up on the bottom shelf of the table, and Steve followed suit, his foot brushing against Bucky's calf as he stretched out his legs. Bucky smiled at the contact and Steve felt his lips turn up in a smile of his own.

           "So, I suppose now is a good time to formally apologize for lying to you about not being able to speak English", Bucky said after a moment.

           "I think you've already made up for it", Steve said, nodding at the coffee in his hand. "This drink could make me forgive anything".

           "I'll keep that in mind, for future reference", Bucky said with a smirk. "But still. I'm sorry".

           "And I'm sorry I said all those things", Steve replied. "I got a little out of hand".

           "Are you sorry you said them because you didn't mean them or are you sorry you said them because you're embarrassed about it?", Bucky asked.

           Steve took a second before he responded, "Because I'm embarrassed".

           "Good", Bucky sighed. Steve scrunched up his eyebrows in confusion, and Bucky hastily added, "I mean, good, because I was hoping you meant them. Especially the bit about tracing my tattoos", he said with a smirk, eyes shining with the same look Steve saw in the bar. _I solemnly swear I am up to no good_. "Is that offer still on the table?" Steve choked on his coffee, spilling it down his shirt. "Whoops. You should probably change your shirt now. I have one you can borrow back at my place", Bucky said.

           "Such a gentleman. What a kind offer", Steve finally managed to say.

           "Anything that gets me closer to the tattoo tracing portion of the evening", he replied with a quirk of his eyebrow.

           "Is that all you're after, then?", Steve asked, aiming for lighthearted and missing it by a mile. Shit. Bucky's face turned serious and he leaned forward, setting his coffee on the small table between them.

           He traced the rim of the mug with his finger, looking at the swirl of whipped cream and coffee before responding, "Not by a long shot". He looked at Steve, all traces of mischief gone from his face, replaced with open sincerity. "I want to get to know you. Find out how pissed you get when they screw up book-to-movie adaptations. Judge your character based on which marauder is your favorite and which house you think you would get sorted in to. Learn how you take your coffee in the morning; if you prefer grape or strawberry jelly. Get your opinion on Miley Cyrus, NASA, and feminism. I want to know it all", he said, ducking his head at the end. Steve felt his stomach tie itself in knots.

           "Good, because I have a lot of opinions about all of those things", Steve said. Bucky looked up and smiled at him.

           "I've got time", he replied, running his foot along Steve's calf.

            _This is the start of something good_. Steve grinned at Bucky, and took a deep breath before saying, "Well, first of all, obviously Sirius Black is my favorite marauder, I mean how is that even up for debate...."


	12. Bonus Round

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter! Thanks to everyone who read and commented/left kudos!! Come hang out on [tumblr](http://herobuckybarnes.tumblr.com/) if you want to cry over super soldiers with me.

MONDAY

Bucky was definitely distracted when he picked up the phone, not even looking at the caller ID, answering with a clipped, "Barnes".

           "Captain Han Solo", Steve said. Bucky stopped what he was working on, a smile spreading across his face.

           "Gross, it's Steve", Darcy said across the office. Bucky flipped her off.

           "That would make me Princess Leia", Bucky said.

           "Princess Leia kicked ass. You should be grateful that you're her in this scenario", Steve replied. Bucky could hear the smile in his voice.

           "Oh, I wasn't complaining. I'm curious though, does that mean Nat is Chewbaca?", Bucky asked. Natasha shot him a look, rolling her eyes before going back to her work.

           "No, she's definitely R2-D2. The most sensible character in the whole series. Sam is obviously Chewie. Loyal to a fault", Steve explained. Bucky accessed Steve's computer and saw that he was playing a game of minesweeper. "My screen did the thing. Are you hacking my computer right now?", Steve asked.

           "Nobody says hack anymore", Bucky heard Tony say in the background. Bucky had to agree with him there.

           "I can tell you're very busy. Productive Monday", Bucky drawled, taking control of the mouse playing the game of Minesweeper that Steve had started.

           "You know what, Tony and I finally got the Hawkeyes to sing Bang Bang. They each sing a different part. So yes, it has been a productive Monday", Steve sniffed.

           "I'll have to check it out on the tapes", Bucky said, clicking a square and revealing a mine. He started a new game.

           "Or you can be less of a creep and come to our office for the live performance", Steve suggested.

           "That would involve having to see Tony. The reward is not worth the cost here", Bucky joked. He actually liked Stark, they had a lot of conversations about robotics and grenade launchers.

           "That hurts", Steve said with feigned offense. Bucky lost another game of Minesweeper.

           "Will you please quit flirting and help with this coding problem", Darcy whined, throwing a balled up piece of paper at his head.

           "Seriously, you already sealed the deal, you don't have to keep flirting at work", Natasha pointed out.

           "Whoa, I did not need to know about their sex life", Darcy complained, putting her hands over her ears and shaking her head.

           "We did not seal the deal like that. She means sealed the deal as in we're going on dates. We're taking it slow", Bucky said.

           "Okay let me rephrase, I do not need to know about your sex life or lack thereof", Darcy shot back. "Now can you please focus on this coding issue?"

           "Sounds like you have to go", Steve said

           "Busy Monday", Bucky sighed. "I'll talk to you later"

           "Bye", Steve said as Bucky hung up the phone. Natasha and Darcy were both staring at him with huge grins.

           "You guys are the worst", Bucky grumbled as he scooted his chair into his desk and started working on the coding problem.

 

* * *

 

TUESDAY

**From Bucky <j.barnes@shield.it.net>, 1:56 p.m.**

You're coming over tonight and I'm making dinner.

**To Bucky <j.barnes@shiled.it.net>, 1:57 p.m.**

Bossy. What if I say no?

_Received at 1:57 p.m._

**From Bucky <j.barnes@shiled.it.net>, 1:58 p.m**.

I'm making cinnamon french toast. you don't want to say no

 

Steve grinned at his computer before replying.

**To Bucky <j.barnes@shield.it.net>, 1:59 p.m.**

I'm sold. I'll be there

_Received at 2:00 p.m._

**From Bucky <j.barnes@shiled.it.net>, 2:00 p.m.**

:)

* * *

WEDNESDAY

           "For the love of God, stop grinning at your computer", Stark said. "You look like a love struck high schooler"

           Steve shot a rubber band at Tony, which he expertly dodged. Clint squawked, Kate and Lucky chirping happily along with him. "Shut up, Tony", Steve said, continuing to grin at the email from Bucky. There was a picture of Sam leaning on Nat's desk in the background, Nat grinning up at him. Bucky was in the foreground of the picture, looking up at the ceiling, face drawn in fake pain.

**From Bucky <j.barnes@shield.it.net>, 4:23 p.m.**

They're worse than we were. Send help

* * *

THURSDAY

           "Thanks for putting together a thread for a company calendar, Rogers", Banner said. "I'm glad to see so many people submit photography for the project. It's nice we all get to see the pictures and vote which ones make it"

           "You can thank his boyfriend for the picture at the top of the thread", Sam interjected. Steve blushed at the mention of Bucky being his boyfriend. It was still weird to think of him that way.

           "Bucky took that picture of the sunset?", Banner asked. "Amazing work! Where did he get that shot?",

           "I'm not sure", Steve lied. He knew exactly where and when the shot was taken. It was from just a couple days ago. Bucky had made French toast, and they had had a picnic on the roof of his building. Bucky had snapped a picture of the sunset before leaning in and pressing a kiss to Steve's cheek. Steve really liked that picture.

           Sam gave him a side eye before saying "Mmmmhmmm".

           "Nobody asked you, Wilson", Steve said, shoving at Sam's shoulder and walking away.

* * *

FRIDAY

_ding_.

The elevator doors slid open, and Steve saw Bucky standing in there alone.

           "Bucky", Steve greeted as he stepped in to the lift.

              "Steve", he returned with a smile. They both stood there for a moment, backs against the wall of the elevator, shoulders brushing, but not saying anything. "Alright", Bucky said after they had descended a few floors. He leaned forward, pushing the emergency stop button, bringing the lift to a halt. "I'm cool with taking it slow, but this has been a fantasy of mine for too long to pass up", he said, crowding up against Steve, wrapping one hand around the side of his neck, and placing the other one firmly against the wall of the elevator next to Steve's face. "Tell me if you want me to stop", he said, closing the space between them.

           "Not in this lifetime", Steve breathed just before Bucky's lips met his. It was everything Steve had been imagining: warm and soft, with an edge of urgency. Steve put one hand on Bucky's hip and ran the other one up his neck, tangling his fingers in Bucky's hair. Bucky let out a moan when Steve gave a gentle tug, moving from Steve's mouth down to his neck.

           "So fucking hot in this fucking shirt", Bucky murmured, sliding a hand up the red henley Steve was wearing. "Been thinking about you all day" he said between kisses.

           "I think we've taken it slow long enough", Steve said, rolling his hips into Bucky's. "I'm ready to see the rest of this tattoo", Steve said, running his hand up Bucky's arm, slipping under the sleeve and digging his fingers into Bucky's shoulder.

           "Fuck", Bucky hissed, biting down on Steve's neck.

           "That's the idea", Steve replied

           "Is everything okay in there?", a tinny voice called in to the elevator, bringing Steve back from thoughts of tattoos under his tongue.

           Bucky backed away from Steve and cleared his throat before saying, "Fine" and punching the button for the ground floor, the elevator surging back to life.

           "There was an emergency stop", the voice said. "Is everyone okay?"

           "More than okay", Bucky said, adjusting his jeans as he did. "Thanks for your help".

           Whoever was on the other end of the line must have picked up on what had happened, because they sounded a little disgusted when they replied "Have  a nice day" and the line went dead.

Bucky pulled Steve out of the elevator by his hand, taking the lobby at a brisk walk.

           "Your place is closer", he said, letting go of Steve's hand and climbing in to the passenger side of the Prius. "Get us out of here, Captain", he said, laying his hand on Steve's thigh and giving a quick squeeze.

Steve shook his head fondly, leaned over the counsel and gave Bucky one quick, sloppy kiss before pulling out of the parking lot.

Bucky turned up the radio, realized what song was on, and  grinned at him before singing along, " _I just want your extra time and your---_ " he leaned over, planting little kisses all over Steve's shoulder and neck " _\--kiss_ ".

Steve laughed, shoulders shaking with the force of it as Bucky continued to sing along, dancing in the passenger seat and planting kisses on Steve whenever the song called for it. A warm, content feeling started in the pit of stomach, fluttering up around his heart and making his chest expand with happiness.

           "It's all yours, Buck", Steve said, wrapping his hand around Bucky's and twining their fingers together.


End file.
